Authentic love requires that you go deeper than the thrill of infatuation, beyond the rush of chemistry, and sometimes that you transcend the expectations of family, friends, and society. Authentic love requires that you discover and embrace your authentic self, and from that essential self-draw to you the person with whom you want to hold hands and experience the adventure of life.

Yet what exactly is authentic love?

Authentic love is choosing your partner exactly as he is; it is putting your energy behind your choice and causing the relationship to be magical, rather than searching for reasons why it can’t work. Love is supporting your partner in her choices, urging her to fulfill her heart’s desires and go for all of her dreams.

Authentic love is honoring your partner’s truth and wanting the very best for him. It is not controlling or possessing but rather respecting and trusting his unique path in life. Love is the courage to tell the truth especially when you believe it is unspeakable.

Authentic love means knowing your boundaries and respecting those of your partner; it means reaching out when you don’t want to, communicating rather than assuming, and asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions. Authentic love means working things out rather than fighting, fighting rather than leaving, and staying through the misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and disappointments, knowing that through commitment all can be healed. It means staying when you want to give up, and honoring your commitment to work things out with the one you have chosen.

Authentic love means focusing on what you appreciate and why you are grateful. It means focusing on solutions rather than on problems. It means focusing attention on your partner and letting her know each day how much you care. It means treasuring your beloved and never taking her for granted. Authentic love means living without judgments to create the safety to tell your truths. It means living each day with your partner as if it were your last. It is the willingness to be yourself and live in harmony with each other.

What does an authentic relationship look like? It looks and feels real. It thrives on honesty and shimmers with truth. An authentic relationship flexes and bends with the fluctuating needs and changes of each partner and gracefully weathers hardships. Both partners are committed to the growth and evolution of both individuals in their respective life paths. Much like the diamond used symbolically to represent the bond of matrimony, an authentic relationship sparkles with brilliance and light while maintaining a solid and enduring core. It is the context in which true love was meant to exist.

Of course, this is the ideal. The real fun—and opportunity—lies in reaching for such a vision. If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules will give you the tools you need along the way as you learn how to win at love. Unlike any other “rules” audiobook on love, these rules you don’t need to study and learn. Rather, they are universal truths that you already inherently know in the depths of your being. You may have simply forgotten them when you fell under love’s enchanting spell. Love can be a powerful force that sometimes eclipses reason and sound judgment. While the experience of new love is among the sweetest joys in life, it also presents a challenge: to remember the universal truths of how to relate while in the midst of your euphoria. I hope this program will aid you in that process.

I did not create these rules; they have existed since the beginning of time. My role is to present them to you, so that you may be reminded about the universal truths that guide love relationships into healthy, happy, and thriving unions. Rediscovering them will greatly help you in your journey to find, create, and sustain authentic and lasting love.

Whether you are in search of your soul mate or you want to make your existing relationship more intimate and connected, you will find here exactly what you need to answer your questions. Enjoy the journey! 

Excerpted from If Love is a Game, These are the Rules